she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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