what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
