Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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