So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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