He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
