it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The beer is more important than you right now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
