Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
