Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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