ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
