I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
