I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
