Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
