Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize