Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
