I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
