he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
