I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
