too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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