Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
