glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
