i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
