I want to have your abortion
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
