how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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