mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
