And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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