It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
