All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its not stalking. its research.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
