she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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