Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
