My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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