she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
