Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you bring me the toilet please
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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