On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
