I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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