Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
