Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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