I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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