dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
