So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
