Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
