i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize