According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
