He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
