D3 body, D1 cock
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
