My friends, they love my intelligence
North Korea, Best Korea!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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