so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
