Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
