Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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