You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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