so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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