Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize