The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
