It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
