What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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