Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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