I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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