he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
