then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize