dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
