Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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