It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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