1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
