Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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