I wish I could punch you in the face.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
