My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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