ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize